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The Coin Toss

By the time Bobby arrived, the football game had already started. "Why are you so late?" asked his friend.

"I couldn't decide between going to church and going to the football game. So I tossed a coin," said Bobby.

"But that shouldn't have taken too long." said the friend.

"Well, I had to toss it 35 times.

My Dad's Better Than Your Dad

Three boys on the playground were bragging about their dads. One said. "My dad scribbles a few words, calls it a song and they pay him 50 bucks."

"Oh, yah. My dad scribbles a few words, calls it a poem and they pay him 100 bucks."

"That's nothin'," said the third kid. My dad scribbles a few words, calls it a sermon and it takes six people to collect all the money.

Liquid, Fragile or Perishable?

When a woman decided to send the old family Bible to her brother in another state, the postal worker asked her if there was anything breakable in the package. "Only the Ten Commandments," she replied.

* 1. What time of day was Adam created?

Just a little before Eve.

2. Who was the fastest runner in the race?

Adam. He was first in the human race.

3. Why are atoms Catholic?

Because they have mass.

4. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?

Because Noah was always standing on the deck5. Why didn’t Noah ever go fishing?

He only had two worms.

6. Did Eve ever have a date with Adam?

Nope — just an apple.

7. Why did the unemployed man get excited while reading his Bible?

He thought he saw a job.

8. Does God love everyone?

Yes, but He prefers “fruits of the spirit” to “religious nuts!”

9. If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was a little lamb…

Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

10. What’s so funny about forbidden fruits?

They create many jams.12. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?

Absolutely ruthless

13. The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose.

Mosquitoes come close, though.

14. What kind of car does Jesus typically drive?

A Christler.

15. What do you get if you cross a Jehovah’s Witness and a Unitarian?

Someone who goes around knocking on doors for no apparent reason.